


The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future

by Fayne



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not Beta Read, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28532043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayne/pseuds/Fayne
Summary: tw: self-harm and suicide, please read with cautionWhat was his worth? Wilbur didn't know.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 105





	The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write often so I hope you like it :")

The snake curled around his body, cutting off his circulation as it bared its teeth, a gleam in his eyes. A cold loneliness began to seep into his bones, freezing his blood in place as the snake began to tighten. He felt his soul bend under the pressure, unable to breathe as the slimy monster slithered up and around his neck, intent on cutting him off from his only lifeline. 

_ What a pathetic excuse for a human _ , it hissed.  _ So unlike your brothers, you can’t match up to them at all. Look at yourself! _

Wilbur glanced down at the blood seeping out of the cuts that lined his thighs, the blood sliding down his skin into a pool on the floor. The voice had a point, he mused. Would Techno ever be caught slicing up his skin because he wasn’t good enough? Would Tommy ever skip meals and cry himself to sleep because he can’t handle the voices that yell about how much of a waste of space he was, that he could die in a ditch and no one would bat an eye? Would Phil ever stand at the edge of a bridge, looking down into the abyss below and feel a pull, the urge to go down there and let the water drag him to its depths, to rip the oxygen out of his lungs and leave him to sink to the bottom, all alone?

He doubted they would.

So why did he?

What was wrong with him?

_ You’re just a mistake, an imperfection. You leave a stain on their name, maybe you should end it so no one can assossiate them with a fuck up like you. _ Wilbur felt tears prick the sides of his eyes as the voice carried on, and he couldn’t deny its words. He was right. That’s why he was sitting on the cold bathroom floor at 3am with nothing but a razor blade in his hand.

_ Maybe death is the only option for someone like you. _

Death, huh?

Rubbing his eyes, Wilbur got up and pulled on his sweatpants and his yellow woolen sweater, ignoring the dark red patch that sprouted out on the grey fabric of his pants and walked out of the bathroom. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from his room, he moved past Techno and Tommy’s rooms, socks padding softly against the hardwood floor. Listening closely, he could vaguely hear Tommy murmuring under his breath, along with Techno’s gentle snores. He paused to relish in the sounds, knowing it would likely be the last time he hears his brothers. 

Treading past Phil’s room, he uncapped the pen and wrote a quick note on the paper. He knew Phil wouldn’t find the note till 7am, so he wouldn’t be able to stop Wilbur. A small part of him wanted his father to come out of his room. To embrace him and tell him he’ll be alright, even if it was just a lie. But then the voices increased in volume and he backed away. Pasting the note onto Phil’s door, he gave one more look to the rooms of his family and gave a small smile.

“Goodbye.”

-

Standing at the bridge again, Wilbur found himself once again mesmerised by the swirling waves. Too many times he had backed away from the edge, chickened out of the jump. But not today. Today was the day, and all he could feel was tranquility. What would it be like, drowning? He had always loved the feeling of water against his skin, so dying in the river always seemed like the best way to go. Out of everyone’s way. No one would know for days until they found his body. If they found his body. Taking a step towards the edge, he let out a breath and smiled. Maybe Phil will be panicked when he wakes to find his eldest son missing, maybe Techno will search the woods for a few days and maybe Tommy will put up missing posters but in the end, they will all move on. They will forget him, because he isn’t significant enough to remember.

He isn’t enough, never has been and never will be.

With a sad smile, he let himself fall into the water’s clutches. And as he was pushed around in the water, the waves taunting him and dragging him down to his inevitable death, he hoped that Phil wouldn’t worry too much about the blood he had left in the bathroom, along with the bloodied razor on the floor. He hoped that Tommy wouldn’t be too distraught over losing a brother. He hoped that Techno wouldn’t feel guilty that the last time they spoke was about a disagreement over Techno’s potato farm. Wishing them his final goodbyes, Wilbur closed his eyes and let the water take him.

-

“Phil!” Phil shot up out of bed as he heard Tommy’s loud cry. Glancing at his youngest son, he felt fear creep into his heart as he saw the tears that were streaming down Tommy’s face. Kneeling down beside him, he noticed the piece of paper that his son held in his grasp, the paper crumpling under the force of his grip.

“What is it Tommy? Are you ok?” He gently pressed and Tommy gave a loud sob as Techn came rushing in, having heard his brother’s distressed cries. 

“I-It’s Wil, dad! He’s gone!” The boy wailed and Phil’s blood ran cold.

“Gone? What do you mean gone?” He soothed, trying to keep the dread that was growing in him out of his voice. Vaguely, he could hear Techno tearing down the hallways to Wilbur’s room, but all Phil could see was the scribbled writing of his eldest son on the paper Tommy thrusted towards him.

_ Dear Phil, Tommy and Techno _

_ When you read this, I’ll probably already be dead. I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time and effort Phil, only to end up like this. Sorry that I wasn’t a very good brother to you Tommy, I’m sorry for every argument we’ve had and I hope you score well on that math test you took. Techno, I’m sorry that I’ve left you as the eldest now, don’t worry, you’ll do a better job than I did and I’m sure you’ll be able to manage just fine. Don’t worry, I’m out of your hair now Phil, thanks for putting up with my bullshit. _

_ Love, Wilbur. _

Phil felt the tears run down his cheeks as Techno came back. “I can’t find Wil-” Phil handed him the note and moved to envelop his youngest. A cry ripped out of his throat, raw and full of grief. Wilbur was gone, and there was no getting him back. He heard the paper flutter to the floor as Techno desperately denied the statement, that Wilbur couldn’t be dead. Grabbing the tv remote, Techno turned it on and flicked to the news channel-

“-the body has been identified as Wilbur Soot-Watson, time of death-”

And the family fell apart.

He grabbed his second- his eldest son and pulled them into a hug, tears and sobs echoing throughout the house.

And the family of three cried.


End file.
